‘Talking and planning for end-of-life care is not the same as having suicidal thoughts.  Mostly, to talk about death is to choose life…’ P137, One Last Thing

Where can I get One Last Thing?
Your local library should have a copy and you can request it if not. Book Hub lists the copies for sale held by independent book shops in NZ. Or google the title to find where other copies are available.

Dedication
I am dedicating this review to the memory of Wendy Mitchell, who died in February 2024 after electing to voluntarily stop eating and drinking.  The reasons for this choice are set out very clearly in One Last Thing. 

Wendy was an inspiration to millions of people.  After her dementia diagnosis she wrote two best-sellers, was awarded two honorary PhDs, did a parachute jump and was a tireless dementia activist. She refused to let dementia define her and often described herself as living with ‘dementia in tow’.  She was always wanting to ‘outwit dementia’ and the manner of her death was an expression of this wish.  This review is written with deep gratitude for Wendy Mitchell’s life and all she contributed to those of us affected by dementia.

Overview
This book is a series of five conversations on:

• Death
• End-of-life Care
• Refusing Treatment
• Assisted Dying
• Life

  Who would find this book helpful?
Everyone.

Death, along with suicide, and dementia will touch every one of us in a lifetime and death is a subject that can be difficult for many people to talk about.  Reading this book is a way to start having those difficult conversations and a way to get clear about what needs to be discussed; whether you are a Health Professional, or have a dementia diagnosis or are a supporter of someone with dementia or none of the above.

My reflections
I loved how easy this book was to read.  It uses sub-headings within the five ‘conversation’ chapters and really moves along.

I read the book after Wendy Mitchell had died in 2024 so it was poignant to know that she had chosen to stop eating and drinking (which she discusses in the book) and to understand her reasons for that choice.  

The one thing I don’t like about the book is the cover – the image of people’s heads fragmenting into bits that fly off, in this case like butterflies, in my opinion contributes to the stigma around dementia.  I would have preferred a photo of Wendy Mitchell, or one of her many amazing nature photos.

Reading One Last Thing has inspired me to finish my own Advanced Care Plan, and get to a Death Café this year, plus be more open about talking about death and dying with friends and whānau.

I learnt about the message in a bottle scheme (MIAB), which is an initiative of Lions International.  A sticker on the front door tells emergency services where the person’s wishes are regarding treatment in an emergency.  Wendy Mitchell had hers in the fridge.  Six million MIABs have been issued in the UK.  I can’t find anything similar in Aotearoa and can see how it would be so helpful for Health Professionals and provide peace of mind users of the scheme.

My hope is that One Last Thing will become a standard book to refer to as we get better at planning for and talking about dying and death. I will leave the last words to Wendy Mitchell, taken from her final blog in February.

‘…With something that will affect 100% of the population, regardless of wealth, intelligence or ethnicity, it’s amazing how such little value is placed on the act of dying.’ 

  Guardian obituary for Wendy Mitchell